If the golf course & residential area are all part of the same organisation (for instance, owning property confers special access rights to the golf course) I think it makes sense to a) tag the whole area with a residential polygon perhaps with the name of the organisation; and b) add the golf course as a separate polygon. I suspect that mapnik renders golf course on top of residential areas, so this would appear with a shaded residential area overlain with the golf course.

The alternative is as you suggest : adding an operator tag to both residential area and golf club would help show that these are indeed linked.

This issue has been discussed on the wiki Golf page here: http://wiki.openstreetmap.org/wiki/Talk:Proposed_features/Golf_course#Golf_.22communities.22. The recommendation was to interleave the residential & golf course areas.

Your last method is quite ingenious, but may rely on artefacts of how mapnik renders multipolygons: it may break when such data are pulled into a conventional GIS tool.

BTW: I tidied up the roads in your original example.