Unfortunately OSMF is operating on a shoestring budget.
Also, as far as I know this specific problem has no obvious technical solutions, except ones that overall make things worse.
If they missed one, feel free to describe workable one.
I am not your therapist.
For practical solutions I will be hosting them at localhost (serving html at localhost is not so hard though extra step is annoying) or replacing tile servers with understanding that it only pospones problem until others do the same.
I just did it with some of my tools, some now use German map style.
OSM carto devs are unrelated to the issue here, this is more operational and hosting issue, and specific design of map style has a very limited, if any, impact
If you can suggest a way that pages at file:// can supply the information the tile usage policy requires, we would welcome that.
A page or app sending a generic browser user-agent with no referer (or x-requested-with) is violating the tile usage policy. That has been part of the policy since the early 2010s. We will not be removing that requirement.
We are doing a brownout where we send error tiles on a % requests because we know some pages have inadvertently set a referrer-policy that causes them to not follow the policy. There was no other way to contact them because their referrer policy was blocking the information we would need to contact them.
If (what I assume) your (=OWG) cache settings in fastly VSL would allow to disregard query params in a tile url, maybe there is a chance to e.g. set a user-agent via query param and have that checked in VSL (and e.g. blocked if that localhost app using file:// is behaving badly)?